Jesus lost his life to abuse

Abuse – whether physical, verbal, emotional, sexual or spiritual: The dominance of one person over another, for the purpose of self-gratification.

As I write this post I am aware that many of you will have suffered at the hands of an abuser in some shape or form.  Some may still be suffering.  Even after the abuse has stopped, the effects are carried around for the rest of life.

It is important to understand that you don’t have to have been directly abused to be affected by it.  Just the simple act of witnessing abuse can leave life-long trauma, psychologically and emotionally.

For healing to commence it is important to acknowledge the effects of the abuse, and the pain of those experiences.  This may be easy to do on your own.  Well, you live with it every day.  For some, their defences are so strong that they may not know they have been abused, or they wouldn’t call what happened to them abuse, so acknowledging the pain and the effects is very difficult.

Speaking about your abuse to another is a powerful step in the journey of healing.  Shame and embarrassment binds us.  Fear of rejection haunts us.  We’ve heard so many lies from our abuser that we don’t know what the truth is.  And to trust another is one of the most difficult things to do, especially as the ones who were supposed to look after us were probably the ones who abused us.  To share the abuse – to trust your story, your life, with another; for some that may be just too much.

In a significantly high number of cases, long term help in the form of a counsellor, or other therapist may be needed.  Here at Living Waters, we often work with participants on our programs who are also regularly attending therapy sessions.  And remember, most of the volunteers who assist with Living Waters programs are victims themselves.  They are working through their pain, and the effects; working with God as He guides them into truth and brings them deeper into relationship with Himself.

Jesus, God in human form, knows what it is to be abused. He lost his life to abuse.

God never forces Himself upon us. He waits patiently for us to remember Him, see Him and speak to Him. What do you want to say to Him today?

You can also join in a conversation currently running on the Living Waters Okanagan Facebook page.

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About katehobbs

Mother to two who are now independant and living away from home. Wife to Steve, for the last 26yrs and looking forward to many more years. I have enjoyed 18 months in the Okanagan, something that I have longed to have the opportunity to do for a while. Living a dream, you could say. Now, I am interning with Living Waters Canada based in Vancouver until end of April 2013. I love to grow my own food - it tastes so much better. I also build up, train and encourage others to achieve more than they thought possible.
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10 Responses to Jesus lost his life to abuse

  1. I kind of answered already but for the sake of possible conversation on here, my question would be why, why would a loving father allow his children to be born into horrible abuse when there are loving parents out there who can’t have children. I would say I’m angry and not okay with any of it.

    • katehobbs says:

      Thanks for responding here too. It is a question that cannot be answered in its entirety, but a valid question and one that has to be asked.
      There are simple answers, complicated answers, trite answers, and foolish answers that we can all, no doubt, provide. The only answer that really matters is what God says and, as you already know, we might not like that answer!
      I know that this a subject very close to your heart – you’ve lived it in more ways than one, so I appreciate it that you are prepared to open up on this subject. Thank you.

      • I’m happy too. I would say more so for your followers that the worst are the religious answers that I’ve gotten from people mostly in the church. They’re not helpful for the most part at all they’re usually painful and cause a lot of guilt. You’ve been amazing in not doing that! I know people sometimes don’t know what to say but ugh!

      • katehobbs says:

        I try to say what God tells me to say. If I don’t know what that is then it is best not to say anything at all, because …… for the reason you have rightly pointed out…. they can be so hurtful.

  2. nessa3 says:

    I left and abusive church a yr ago and have had some counciling off and on …how do you know when counciling is working and when its time to go else where? When I left I was in leadership and everything has stopped…little desire..little hope ..loss of vision..I want to want too …but thats about it..Even my relationship with God is distant . I want to move on …but feel stuck

    • katehobbs says:

      Hi Nessa
      Thanks for sharing here. I don’t know whether I can answer your question about when counselling is working. This is very subjective and individual. As I don’t know your full circumstances it would be unwise of me to even attempt an answer.

      I am sorry that you are walking through this.
      I have a question for you. You say God is distant at the moment. Yet do you still believe that He is relevant to you? If you do still have some relationship, you might want to consider asking Him what moving on looks like for you. It would be interesting to hear what He has to say.

  3. nessa3 says:

    Maybe I should clarify … I am at arms lenght …because I associate the abusive church some what with Him… its his church and I felt I did what I was supose to do by submitting to God under the leadership. I prayed sought him worshiped …did all the things your supose to do …and I felt I got thrown under the bus..so to speak….I think I have some teaching that needs fixing…. Ive been taught if you do ABC… you get 123…. so its hard to be ok with God when I felt I was obedient …and yes I know the stories about Joseph and Elijah… of course Jesus was perfect and he suffered…. that still doesnt make the pain go away and make me want to jump back into anything spiritual

  4. nessa3 says:

    I do have another issue… emotions.. I have difficulty understanding my emotions and processing them… I wasnt allowed to express much emotion as a child and church … its we want happy people. I control my emotions to protect myself from abusive people…if I dont let them get to my emotions I wont get hurt. I was getting some healing at the last church and then they became abusive …. so I shut down again … I feel this keeps me from getting closer to God aswell as people

    • katehobbs says:

      This is really a big thing. At some point, suppressed emotions will always find their way out, and take us by surprise. And you are right that shutting down, or building a wall, doesn’t just keep the bad stuff out, it also stops the good stuff getting through.
      I just want to commend you for sharing here; opening yourself up to a number of unknown people and being real.
      As much as I want to support you, I do not believe I am local to you and true support can’t be done on this type of forum. You do need people near to you who can meet with you regularly. You have to be willing for that and only you will know if you are prepared to take that risk after having been hurt so much.
      I think you know that God has so much more for you that you are not walking into at the moment. I really do hope and pray that you will step into that “best” that God has for you. He never promised an easy life – unfortunately (!) but He did promise a better life. You might not believe it for yourself at this moment, but I will believe it for you.
      Kate

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